Write a Book?

With my Dad’s recent passing, this has been a time of introspection. And quite honestly, it feels very wrong to talk/type, at this time, about MY introspection. It feels wrong to make this time about me, in any way. I think it’s simply part of the mourning process, to feel adamant that this time, this mourning period, should be all about my Dad, and not about me.

But, nevertheless, I have done a fair bit of thinking about me, my life, etc., during this mourning period. Many people have told me that my Dad was very proud of me. Indeed, he told me so many times. That’s comforting, but can also lead to self-imposed pressure, to continue to do him proud, and to continue to make him proud.

I’ve also been struck lately by a very strong urge to write a book about my Dad’s life. I wonder if this is common. I believe it all started with writing and delivering Dad’s eulogy at his funeral. I consulted with my Mom, and my Aunt, and others, and thus learned more about my Dad’s life than I’d ever known while he was alive. He led an interesting life, which is a great reason to write about him; but I believe there’s more to this urge.

If I write about Dad, then his story, his life, will live on. And so, part of my recent introspection deals with this urge to write about Dad’s life. Would it be healthy, or merely an attempt to deny his death? Would it be an attempt to capture and honour his life, or would it be an attempt to not let go? Is it about him, or about me?

I realize this post is a little melancholy. I’ve always maintained that this blog would be open and forthright. I’m a busy entrepreneur working night and day to launch the first of five Parmasters Golf Training Centers in southern Ontario. But as all that work goes on, life, and death, still happen.

I’ll close on a more optimistic tone, with one of my favourite quotes.

“It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful. There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power.” -Alan Cohen